Mark Gilroy

Bringing Books to Life!

Self-Promotion: I Wanna Talk About Me

I wanna talk about me.

Look at me!

Self-promotion. How much is too little and how much is too much?

In his smash hit, “I Wanna Talk About Me,” Toby Keith makes a case both directions – some promote (or at least talk) too much and some too little. It’s a great reminder of what Dale Carnegie taught us in How to Win Friends and Influence People – everyone wants to get a word in edge-wise.

With Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Twitter, and so many other social media to connect us with people we know, the question of self-promotion gets relational.  Now it’s not only a question of how much self-promotion is appropriate for the world at large – but with the people we know and call friends. Are we driving them crazy?

This is a personal question for me. As an author my publisher tells me I have to promote my books – if I don’t, no one else will either. As  a publisher, I tell my authors the same thing.

But no one wants to lose friends by being obnoxious.

So when promoting your activities – particularly with friends – particularly in the social media age we live in:

How much self-promotion is too much? not enough? just right?

Be aware that no matter what you do you will always get one of three responses:

  • Anything you say to promote yourself will be too much with some.
  • Others sincerely want to know what you’re doing – everything you’re doing – especially Mom.
  • Still more aren’t going to notice anything you say anyway – they’re too busy self-promoting – so who cares since you’re just talking to yourself?

So really … how much self-promotion is just right? Because it’s true, if you don’t believe in yourself and what you’re doing, who else should and will?

There is obviously no single answer. You can already read my mind on the topic. My typical response: the answer is yes and no, more and less.

Better go with your own comfort level, knowing you can’t control your intended responses no matter how careful or reckless you are. A few simple words of counsel – as much a reminder to myself as a word to anyone else – include:

  1. Keep a sense of perspective and humor – your project is not the center of the universe or a matter of life and death for others – even if what you are doing is life and death in your mind.
  2. Err on the side of caution – do not overdo it lest you become a nuisance to your friends. The rule of thumb for Facebook and other high relationship networks is keep your posts relational – don’t promote your products more than one, possibly two times a week from your personal account. Sell indirectly by being interesting and staying engaged. Trust they’ll find you. On Twitter you can promote about as much as you want – but beware, you still need to be interesting and interactive or people will tune you out.
  3. In general conversation, make sure you listen as much as you speak – do you know what others are up to? (Do you care?)
  4. If your purpose to be on social media, at least in part, is to promote what you are doing, be sure to return the favor to others who are likewise promoting and acknowledge what they are up to with Likes, RTs, Shares, comments or whatever else helps. Create some quid pro quo relationships.
  5. Keep your message “soft sell” – especially with friends – as most people don’t like to be pushed.

If none of what I wrote helped you on the topic, maybe you can pick up some more direction from the guy who just wanted to talk a little about himself!

Mark Gilroy is the author of the bestselling Kristen Conner Mystery Series and a veteran executive in the publishing industry.
Updated on March 5, 2015

Murketing and the Fine Art of Sincerity

At its best, murketing is selling something you've sincerely bought into.

At its best, murketing is selling something you’ve sincerely bought into.

“Fast Times” just released their top 10 business books for the year and Rob Walker’s Buying In was second on the list.

Amazon’s starred review says:

Brands are dead. Advertising no longer works. Weaned on TiVo, the Internet, and other emerging technologies, the short-attention-span generation has become immune to marketing. Consumers are “in control.” Or so we’re told.

In Buying In, New York Times Magazine “Consumed” columnist Rob Walker argues that this accepted wisdom misses a much more important and lasting cultural shift. As technology has created avenues for advertising anywhere and everywhere, people are embracing brands more than ever before–creating brands of their own and participating in marketing campaigns for their favorite brands in unprecedented ways. Increasingly, motivated consumers are pitching in to spread the gospel virally, whether by creating Internet video ads for Converse All Stars or becoming word-of-mouth “agents” touting products to friends and family on behalf of huge corporations. In the process, they–we–have begun to funnel cultural, political, and community activities through connections with brands.

Walker explores this changing cultural landscape–including a practice he calls “murketing,” blending the terms murky and marketing–by introducing us to the creative marketers, entrepreneurs, artists, and community organizers who have found a way to thrive within it. Using profiles of brands old and new, including Timberland, American Apparel, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Red Bull, iPod, and Livestrong, Walker demonstrates the ways in which buyers adopt products, not just as consumer choices, but as conscious expressions of their identities.

Part marketing primer, part work of cultural anthropology, Buying In reveals why now, more than ever, we are what we buy–and vice versa.

I’m halfway through and enjoying the book tremendously. I would simply argue that murketing is not a new concept but is as old as commerce itself. Anyone else ever been asked by someone if they can bring over a pizza only to discover that the real agenda was not breaking bread but a sales presentation? My personal experience with that exact scenario, probably atypical, was as bad an example of murketing as you’ll ever witness.

But whether done online or as a door-to-door visit; whether done well (which probably means sincerely or with the appearance of sincerity) or poorly (you tricked me into thinking you cared about me but it sure appears that you only want to sell me something); whether the starting point is as a provider or purchaser of the goods or service; the blending of who we are with what we offer – murketing – is perhaps the most proven form of selling and marketing ever known.

A man known as the “greatest salesman in the world” (think of the Og Mandino classic by that same name) was also a great example of a murketer. St. Paul was nearly obsessed with defending his sincerity in sharing the gospel – to the point that he maintained his trade as a tent maker so that no one would accuse him of being a money grubber. A typical self-defining statement from Paul can be found in 2 Corinthians 4:2 (The Message):

We refuse to wear masks and play games. We don’t maneuver and manipulate behind the scenes. And we don’t twist God’s Word to suit ourselves. Rather, we keep everything we do and say out in the open, the whole truth on display, so that those who want to can see and judge for themselves in the presence of God.

The prevailing definitions of murketing in Buying In is “marketing that parades as non-marketing” – which sounds a lot more like something from Machiavelli’s The Prince than Paul’s letter to the Corinthians! At it’s best, murketing is selling something you have sincerely bought into.

But no matter what direction you tackle the concept of murketing – a technique to be learned, a ploy to be wise to, an interesting study of the Internet and emerging sales behavior or a “same old, same old” yawn – it’s hard to refute the notion that the best selling in life comes from those who have most bought into that which they are trying to sell.

That’s why we like our personal trainers to be fit, our dessert chefs to be plump, and our preachers to be holy.

Now, about that pizza I was bringing over!