Is Happiness a Choice?

Is happiness a choice? Can you become happy by choosing to be happy?

Two small studies by researchers Yuna L. Ferguson and Kennon M. Sheldon, reported in the Journal of Positive Psychology, suggest exactly that. The intention to become happy may be the key to being happy.

Does the explicit attempt to be happier facilitate or obstruct the actual experience of happiness? Two experiments investigated this question using listening to positive music as a happiness-inducing activity. Study 1 showed that participants assigned to try to boost their mood while listening to 12 min of music reported higher positive mood compared to participants who simply listened to music without attempting to alter mood. However, this effect was qualified by the predicted interaction: the music had to be positively valenced (i.e. Copland, not Stravinsky). In Study 2, participants who were instructed to intentionally try to become happier (vs. not trying) reported higher increases in subjective happiness after listening to positively valenced music during five separate lab visits over a two-week period.

I will admit, this is not a massive research project and I would never argue that happiness is possible all the time by an act of the will. I recognize that there are circumstances and conditions that will make anyone and everyone unhappy. But are we forced to live there?

The simple premise, I can choose to be happy, hits a particular assumption I carry deep inside my heat and that I default to whether discussing psychology or theology or sociology or economics or whatever: we have choices and our choices matter. Put oppositely, our lot in life is not predestined by irresistible forces of determination.

The first man to offer a course in psychology in the United States was William James, a Harvard professor from 1873 to 1907, and perhaps the most influential philosopher and psychologist of the late 19th Century. He was dubbed the “Father of American Psychology.” I find it fascinating that his simple, pragmatic approach on enhancing our mental health and overall quality of life has fallen on such hard times in our sometimes bleak and toxic world of ideas. But positively, his paradigm is rediscovered every day and I don’t believe it will ever disappear:

• The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.
• The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.
• Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.
• Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power.

King Solomon said the same thing (even if I am taking the phrase a bit out of context) in Proverbs 23:7:

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

The Apostle Paul wrote about happiness while in prison and gave this counsel on finding it:

 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. (Philippians 4:8, NLT.)

What prompted this blog post was a conversation with a friend the other day. He has been going through a long, messy divorce process after more than thirty years of marriage. He has dragged his feet and fought it each step of the way, thinking he (or she) would wake up one day and she would call it off. We agreed that if you live long enough – and just saying something like that means we are getting older – you are going to get knocked on your butt and pick up a few scars on the sometimes bumpy road of life. He joked a little, I’m sure as a defense against the pain he still feels every day.

I don’t always remember, but after a conversation like this I like to  ask, “Can I say a prayer with you?” My friend is not religious but he immediately said yes and after a few short words he told me he appreciated it. He texted a thank you note later. (Reminder to self: Listen and pray more.)

The last thing he said was what jumped out at me: Mark, I shouldn’t be, but I’m still happy.

I admire that. I hope I emulate that attitude and decision in my own life, even when circumstances are less than ideal.

So is happiness a choice? Is it a choice for you?

Smile. Focus on what is positive and lovely. Maybe turn on some happy music. Make a decision to choose happiness. Then see what happens next.