Look at me!
Self-promotion. How much is too little and how much is too much?
In his smash hit, “I Wanna Talk About Me,” Toby Keith makes a case both directions – some promote (or at least talk) too much and some too little. It’s a great reminder of what Dale Carnegie taught us in How to Win Friends and Influence People – everyone wants to get a word in edge-wise.
With Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Twitter, and so many other social media to connect us with people we know, the question of self-promotion gets relational. Now it’s not only a question of how much self-promotion is appropriate for the world at large – but with the people we know and call friends. Are we driving them crazy?
This is a personal question for me. As an author my publisher tells me I have to promote my books – if I don’t, no one else will either. As a publisher, I tell my authors the same thing.
But no one wants to lose friends by being obnoxious.
So when promoting your activities – particularly with friends – particularly in the social media age we live in:
How much self-promotion is too much? not enough? just right?
Be aware that no matter what you do you will always get one of three responses:
- Anything you say to promote yourself will be too much with some.
- Others sincerely want to know what you’re doing – everything you’re doing – especially Mom.
- Still more aren’t going to notice anything you say anyway – they’re too busy self-promoting – so who cares since you’re just talking to yourself?
So really … how much self-promotion is just right? Because it’s true, if you don’t believe in yourself and what you’re doing, who else should and will?
There is obviously no single answer. You can already read my mind on the topic. My typical response: the answer is yes and no, more and less.
Better go with your own comfort level, knowing you can’t control your intended responses no matter how careful or reckless you are. A few simple words of counsel – as much a reminder to myself as a word to anyone else – include:
- Keep a sense of perspective and humor – your project is not the center of the universe or a matter of life and death for others – even if what you are doing is life and death in your mind.
- Err on the side of caution – do not overdo it lest you become a nuisance to your friends. The rule of thumb for Facebook and other high relationship networks is keep your posts relational – don’t promote your products more than one, possibly two times a week from your personal account. Sell indirectly by being interesting and staying engaged. Trust they’ll find you. On Twitter you can promote about as much as you want – but beware, you still need to be interesting and interactive or people will tune you out.
- In general conversation, make sure you listen as much as you speak – do you know what others are up to? (Do you care?)
- If your purpose to be on social media, at least in part, is to promote what you are doing, be sure to return the favor to others who are likewise promoting and acknowledge what they are up to with Likes, RTs, Shares, comments or whatever else helps. Create some quid pro quo relationships.
- Keep your message “soft sell” – especially with friends – as most people don’t like to be pushed.
If none of what I wrote helped you on the topic, maybe you can pick up some more direction from the guy who just wanted to talk a little about himself!
